Be a less-stressed parent

Last week we blogged about the stress of raising a child with autism and one mom’s daydream of granting her child and herself a day off from autism.  Parents of children with autism deal with increased stress due to frustration, feelings of isolation, fear of reactions from society, feelings of grief or inadequacy, concerns over finances and what the future holds for their children.  The tragic murder-suicide of a father and his autistic son that occurred yesterday in Maine underscores just how important it is to find a way to relieve some of that stress. Stress can’t be eliminated but it can be managed and it will help you be a better parent.  Taking breaks helps you relax and recharge your batteries.

There are 4 kinds of breaks:

Small Breaks: Schedule small breaks of 10-15 minutes between activities at least several times a day.  Small breaks are particularly important before or after “stressful” events such as getting your child dressed, taking your child to a doctor or therapy appointment, after your child goes to sleep. Even if you only have a few minutes, sit and clear your head, take a deep breath, enjoy a cup of tea.

Medium Breaks: Try to take a medium sized break of 1-2 hours at least once a day even if it is just relaxing in front of the TV, reading a book or surfing the web after your child has gone to sleep. Another option is to wake up early to exercise before the rest of the family is awake.

Large Breaks: Several times a month you should take an entire day to yourself, away from the pressures of the home.

Extra-Large Breaks: If possible, parents should plan a vacation away from the kids for an entire weekend. Most parents almost never do this but those that do report feeling refreshed and energized and feel that they are much more patient upon their return.

The only way to ensure that you will get needed breaks is to schedule these breaks in advance. If you wait until you have time it will never happen. Part of being a parent is committing to take care of yourself.  Just like the flight attendant on an airplane asks you to put your own oxygen mask on before that of your child’s, you need to take care of yourself so you can be around to take care of your child.